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Est. Sunshine State

MY
FLORIDA
MAN

Your birthday, his rap sheet. Find the real Florida Man news story that broke on your birthday — and the horoscope you did not ask for.

2,192 real stories archived across 366 of 366 calendar days.

How it works

01

Give us your birthday

Month, day and year. We keep none of it — the whole site is static files.

02

Meet your Florida Man

We match the calendar day against an archive of real, published headlines.

03

Receive your fate

Then a horoscope, derived from your man's specific poor decisions.

On the honesty of this website: Real stories are pulled from published news articles and always name the outlet and date that reported them, so you can check. On any date with nothing in the archive we generate a story instead — and label it, unmissably, as invented. Browse the real ones →